a loose end to tie up
another bated breath
a detail to finalize
another bitten tongue
i’ve yet to destroy
a final blow
a planned escape
a loose end tied up
newer fresher air to breathe
a detail finalized
biting apples, baring teeth
welcome, all are welcomed, here’s to another complication. pull tight the knot to seal a fate hold tight to halt forward momentum where it starts before it starts. a forced setback of too many seconds would reinforce the bind would pull in too close would take too much mind. too much thought would construct would confuse would misconstrue create unwind with its undo. pour two glasses more as fate entwines as fates entwine watch fates entwine. a tangled web we’ve woven a woven web of undesign. to grasp, to tether, a series of complaints. a flicker, a thought, another fond mistake. decidedly made to forget to forget to forget again and again forget again but not quite not technically (not really) redo. take a chance with taken hands taken hands walk two by two to a door zu dir oder zu mir aber what else would two submitting to fallibility do? fumble fall flip onto sides limbs entangle cares tossed aside. a night another night just one more night just for the night learn nil from hindsight grasp not for love grasp not for past-promises watch not as they crumble where they lie. the afterglow the morning glories the forgotten names the lost allegory. the lessons learned the hopes forgotten the lessons left behind. just for the night just for a night just another held-back hope disguised as living life.
those tears in those eyes
they burn worse
– trust me –
in witnessing eyes;
they have nothing to do
with the repercussion stare
that smile burns too
it is an unbroken secret
sworn to silence
well this is all a handwritten message to him if i am being honest and i am not sure why i am doing it other than i want to and yes that likely makes me the kind of person who would do those kinds of things but what else would be true? nothing else would be true. nothing else; it’s in the realm of things i do.
Mussitations mumbles mummers: muttering some somethings felt. Details lost lips flitter flutter: eyelash cover too high a cost. A passerby is prowling pouncing: a drive by with a subtle smirk. The moment leaving longing lingers: description blotted till obscured. Memory is minced until another moment passes, as concrete figures turn to form a projection shadowpast. A ghost’s still gazing grinning gripping: as time speeds inconsistently and legs regain their strength.
I awake to eyes already staring at a ceiling. Blue eyes: not mine, upturned, unsleeping. I try to ignore their stare where it is focusing, unflinching: decidedly away from mine. I try to change the subject, try to shift feelings to my slight complaints, instead of starting, patching, speaking of some yesterdays’ revealed mistakes.
I try to change the subject, try to shift your feelings to my complaints, but I’m diverting clearly distracting, filling our airspace with my cluttercares, that, although possibly captured in the present, are passing without effort to not-even-theres. I’m treading lightly on your toes: an ever-so-slight unjust mistreatment. Do you believe all that I say? Are my confusion tactics viewed as deception?
I think, I question, won’t ask aloud, if I’m treading too heavily in your mind. I mean to, didn’t mean it, at least not in this way at this time. But lo and behold! A brusque casualty. Eye contact takes so slight a move. But given the parameters and the circumstances, I can’t say I’m undeserving, or that I don’t approve.
I am fluid
Existing pressed against boundaries
I am eclipsing
Blotting out your successes and defeats
I am too aware
Frustrating to watch, to hold on to
I am human
Living with the mistakes I choose to make
You can’t understand what you understand too well; you can’t understand what I’ve told you. Rhyming couplets: chosen sounds in pairwise lines (but they also contain some meaning). I mean it. I always mean what it sounds like. I always tell you what I say. Play confused, I cause confusion. With seconds ticking: don’t delay. I wrote myself a letter and I signed it with the date. I changed the cadence or the rhyme scheme to fix a faltered note off key. I changed some words making some plans, but it’s all the same to me. Left foot taking steps in one direction; right foot holding ground: a rooted tree.
I am waiting for a wall to be built, so I can push it to its limits. So I can find a weak point or a crack and break it down with one tiny devastation.