more of something else

I am thoughtless
I have a lot on my mind
I am thoughtless
Unable to process
Unable to know
Where to begin

I’ll begin in the middle
Toward the middle
Where I am and stand
So much for new beginnings
Just another change in plan

I am planning for a second shift
A second to shift my meaning
A change of mind
As days unwind
Revealing and reconcealing

I hold onto letting go
I hold onto an unknown feeling
Of belonging somewhere
A perfectly sized space
Undiscovered; Unrecognized
Mourning in my absence

It’s the naivety of childhood
It’s a holdout from my childhood
It’s an expectation that refuses
To settle down

I refuse to settle
I renounce the claim
That well enough is well enough
To ask for more is to complain
I want more

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