Sharons always get broken up with for doing nothing wrong. I think compatibility is more about how you like things than which things you like. 25 must be the age where older men no longer find it creepy to hit on you. Birds fly north for summer, and doesn’t that make them fair-weather friends? I want to make up words when I talk to my kids. That’ll be fun. Actually, nevermind, that would be kind of cruel. A lot of clean-looking, older lesbians we’re having today, huh? The distinct feeling of being in a boring store for a long time with my mom and trying to be patient but honestly feeling like we will never leave the store. I think I was brainwashed into thinking that drugs are worse than they are. A poem that starts describing someone in beautiful, flowery, abstract ways, and then gets more and more base and declarative. The time of Kevin James has ended. I am powered by my desire to get people to see how ridiculous they are when they’re trying to behave how they think normal humans should behave. Tinder journalism. Sitcoms are people embarrassing themselves to a laugh track. She had the face only a bartender could love. What if there just was no Beyoncé and she was actually an alien robot Beyoncé? I could literally be doing anything right now and this is what I’m doing. I no longer support pen advertisements. Was human evolution the process of becoming better communicators? Now we can say so many things that people have developed all of these precautions against having to deal with other people’s dramas. Being irrational is usually seen as a call for help, but what if you just like being irrational and want to be left alone with your irrationality? Writing words on social media isn’t doing anything but annoying people who otherwise wouldn’t have to listen to you. We are probably, as a society, too bombarded with opinions. I am inherently bothered by “Best of” collections; they seem inauthentic. Life Goal: Corner Treadmill Video Market. My cat meowed at me but I think he was just trying to say hey. You ever wish something mildly bad happened to you? Like, you wake up and have a flat tire? Or you twist an ankle this way you can tell people you twisted your ankle? Yeah, me neither. My kitten sometimes annoys me and I wonder if that makes me a terrible person. I really hope I look good in hats. I kind of want to go for a drive and see where I ended up, but I am scared of actually ending up nowhere and with no story to tell. I want more things to be life altering experiences. Life altering experiences probably only happen when life needs to be altered. Are goals things you want to have done, but haven’t gotten around to doing yet? I worry that don’t acknowledge 80% of my thoughts. That is giving fuel to the “most statistics are made up” fire, but I am 100% alright with that. I don’t think enough people are introspective, but I don’t know if the world would be better if they were. I am sweet in my head, but not cloying. Seesaw is a funny word because it probably was named because at a height, one person sees, and then, when the other rises, the first person saw. If I kept talking forever, in two dimensions I would probably circle, in three, I’d spiral. I think the most romantic thing ever would be to get the coordinates of where you met someone tattooed on your body, and I will be severely disappointed if I meet my soulmate online and can’t make this happen. Pizza.