asking for subjectivity

I don’t know where to start because I am not at the start I am somewhere in the middle or at least I am off to the side and I can’t quite put a self-representative pin in my place on the map. I don’t know if I am lost or directionless and I am not sure which questions to ask or of whom they should be asked. Talk to god for guidance, in sheep-like herds at mass, but lacking god (I’m told) I’m only left with science, but science is a soulless artless self-important different-kind-of mass, and I do doubt it will offer assistance toward the reconciliation of my placelessness with my supposed position in space-time – both of which feel uncertain.

You get two alternatives: you pick one side. There is left and there is right, but I am trying to move forward, or possibly jump to a different map: some alternative world order. Tradition is as tradition does as tradition is wont to do. Hello, how are you, good, fine, farewell, and adieu. First phrases in second third fourth languages get you quite close, because who really strays?  How far could they go? The weather we’re having is fair and we’re all such fair weather acquaintances. Sharing little troubles, immersed and deeply drowning in our pseudostruggles: strangers in shared places exchanging quotes, remaining faceless. 

Which questions would you ask of someone locking eyes with yours, if you thought they were really seeing you and trying to converse? Not hearing what they want to hear, and saying what they’re supposed to say, but present, and attention-paying, and thinking on their feet.  Do you wonder do you wonder do you think they may have answers? Are you open are you willing to even ask the questions? We talk to god for guidance, under truth-seeking selfish guises, forgetting that our prayers are conversationally one-sided: there’s nothing there to learn. 

But god is dead and science holds the answers: we’ll figure out the truth, we’ll design a better future, and beyond a reasonable doubt: we’ll forget how to be human.  I see the choices I am given: I’ve learned my rights from wrongs. But tradition is as tradition does as tradition is wont to do. I’ll give it all up I’ll toss it away: gods and science for some areas of grey.  I am willing and open, and the question I’m posing: what does everyman have to say?

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